Family

I just realize one thing. 

When the child was young, we usually have a nick name for him/her.
When the child becomes older, sometimes we forgot to call him the nick name.
If we still keep calling his nick name, both the parents and the kid have a warm feeling.

Wish upon the star

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I would like to keep the relationship in a family as close as possible. :)

Grade

son: Dad. I got C.
dad: scream, what.. "C".  I expect you to get an "A" or minimum B...
son: look down.. (hurting)..


Dear one,

I sometimes got anxious when thing didn't turn out the way i want it to be.
I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you.

When I got back grade back in college/high school year, I got nervous, too.

I am going to see if I can work on it.
The first thing I plan to try is:

When I feel anxious because of the grade, I will breath 3 times and tell myself 3 times.
"All is well. Everything is working for my highest good.  Out of this situation only good will come, I am save."

This will be my first experiment. 

Love

Dad

Want the best for you

My dear,

I was talking to your mom this morning. 

I am sorry that I sometimes push you to get a good grade.
I agree with your mom that as long as you put down the effort, that is good enough.

I know I want the best for you.
I think the best doesn't mean that you have to get A.
I think the best is the good attitude.
(Try your best and the rest is up to God.)

A few years ago, a friend of mine and I both try to get A in our fields.
We both fail miserably and got tinnitus.
I think we both cannot sleep when we got an F.

I want to tell you that it is ok to get bad grade as long as you put down 100%.

I love you
I am sorry
please forgive me
thank you

Love

Dad

Empathy

My dear,

I am sorry that I pushed you hard on doing your homework.

When I was young, your grandpa wants me to write the Chinese address on an envelop for him.
The words are complicate and I couldn't say no.
Every time when I write the incorrect word.  I got harsh word from your grandpa.
I always wish that your grandpa give me time to practice the word on another piece of paper.

So I want to say to you the same thing, I am sorry that I sometimes push you to finish homework quickly.

It's possible that you have another way of doing homework that I don't know of.
I think we may just need to talk and come to a compromise that you, your mom and I agree with.

Sincerely

Dad

-----

Sometimes, it's hard to say who is right.
It's probably better to breath in and try to understand the other side.
(as the parent)

Louise Hay:
Everyone is doing their best

Compliments

My dear,

I am sorry, I haven't given you much compliments for a while.

Starting from now, I will give you a compliment a day.

A few days ago, I need to see your grandma and I asked you to take care of your mom and sis.

Your mom told me that you toasted a bread for your sister and you have been a very good brother.


When I was young, I also want praise from my Dad.

I guess I sometimes pass from last generation into this generation.

My Dad in heaven will probably hug me and ...


Well, my dear, you have been a wonderful boy and I am proud of you.


Love

Dad

----

Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life)

Compliments are gifts of prosperity. Learn to accept them graciously...It is even better to accept the compliment and return it so the giver feels as though he or she has received a gift. It is a way of keeping the flow of good going.

---

Joel Osteen

Be generous with your compliments and stingy with your complaints. Withhold the negative; express the positive.

To be like by others

My dear,

We were working on a homework.

In one of the page, the homework ask what language do you speak at home?

I looked at you and you told me that you want to put the language that is NORMAL.

Instantly, I know that you would like to put down English.



The thing is that I am a bit uncomfortable with your decision.

It's not about which language that you want to put down.

It's a bit personal.



I know in my life I want to conform.

I want to accept by others so I do a lot of things to conform.

To conform means to be normal and to be accepted by all others.

To conform means to have a life of mediocrity because we never express who we are.


I probably will be the first person to tell everyone that I like conformity FOR MYSELF.

Yet, I wasn't quite sure if that is the best thing for you, child.

I have my doubt.  I think God create each person to be unique.

God create tree to be a tree.

God does not create a tree to be a flower.



My dear child, you probably want to think over about the decision.

It's your future and you own it.



Love

Dad


---

Joel Osteen

The apostle Paul says, "Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold" (Romans 12:2). There's a constant pressure trying to squeeze you into being common, into doing what everyone else is doing. Don't let that thinking rub off on you. If they want to be common, that's their choice. But that's not who you are. You are uncommon. Stand out in the crowd. Do the right thing when the boss is not around. Do more than required. Set a new standard. People around you may be giving in to temptation, doing things you know are not the best. That's the enemy trying to deceive you into being common. He knows that if you're like everyone else, it will keep you from becoming all you were created to be. Don't fall into that trap. Be uncommon. Live by a higher standard.


---

Louise Hay

I Accept my Uniqueness.

There is no competition and no comparison, for we are all different and meant to be that way. I am special and wonderful.  I love myself.

The words

Mom:  Here is a math test from Harvard..

Older brother (David): take a look and give an answer

Younger brother (Tom):  take a look and give another answer

mom:  Tom has the right answer

Younger brother (very proud):  I beat you, David.  I beat the Berkeley graduate..

Youngest sister (Betty, 6 years old): Looking at Tom screaming..
(Tom wasn't sure what's going on.)

Mom:  Betty doesn't like the word, "beat".  You probably change the word.
   
Younger brother:  ok.  How about I use this word, "I win".

(Betty seems to feel better)

---------------

A lot of times, different people have different logic and words.
As long as everyone tries to understand the meaning of each other and change the words that both people can agree upon.
Then, the world (family) is a happier place.

Asking

Younger brother (Tom):
we went to "Toy R Us" to buy video game for nintendo switch.  We got it for 10 dollars

Older brother (David): That's great..

Older brother: Mario Kart or Pokemon

Younger brother: mm.. Why do you expect Mom to buy the expensive sixty dollars video games.

Older brother:  mm.. (not sure what Tom is talking about)

Younger brother:  (puzzling, not sure what David is talking about)
               
Mom:  (looking at both brothers smiling)
   
      Tom and I went to "Toy R Us" and bought a 10 dollars video game.
      It's an old video game called "skylander".
   
      I think  both of you misundertood each other.

      When Tom says that he bought 10 dollars nintendo video game, David expects it to be the most popular nintendo video game.
   
      so David thought that we have Mario Kart or Pokemon video game now.

      Now Tom got confused.  Tom is thinking that Mom doesn't usually buy expensive stuff.
      Why does David think Mom is willing to buy the most popular video game.

----

The lesson:  A lot of times, it's better to ask people to explain than to assume.
                    It's better to understand than misunderstood.

Believe and Trust

Dear one,

I believe in you
You believe in me
We look at each other and smile

Love

Dad

-----

Sometimes when you are critical of yourself,
know this that your family are always here to support you

May you have a happy, healthy and bless life.

Love

Dad

-----

Louise Hay:

I trust the intelligence within me.
There is one intelligence. 
It's everywhere, equally present.
You are never lost as you are a part of the Divine Mind.
Trust this intelligence within you

-----

Joel Osteen:

God is always present with you. That means at all times,
continually, perpetually, throughout all time, God is with you.
In your day of trouble, He is there to help you.
How is He your help? By providing whatever you need;
by opening doors for you;
by orchestrating things in your favor.

“Help” is specific to your need and we serve a God who is very specific.
Because He is always with you, He always knows exactly what you need!
Today, are you facing trouble or adversity? Know that God is with you.
Look to Him for help. Trust that He has the answer,
and that He is working things out in your favor.
As you continue to believe Him and follow His direction,
He will lead you in the way that you should go. He will comfort you,
revive you, restore you and bless you! He will be your ever-present help
because He is forever faithful to His Word!

Thank you

My dear child,

Thank you for thinking of me.
I am really proud and grateful to have you as my child.

May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you live with peace
May you be safe

Love

Dad

Louise Hay:
Use the affirmation: You are perfect, whole, and complete, just as you are.

Always love you

May you be happy

May you be healthy

My you live with ease

My you be safe

Always love you

Dad

Watching TV

(The children are watching a TV drama)

The boy: I don't like the ending.  I don't know what it is trying to accomplish.  I like the happy ending

The girl: (look at her brother)

The boy: Gee, this is totally not right.  They have so many different way to end the story.  Why do they need to be this sad?

The girl: (still silent)

Mom:  My dear, close it and find a one that you like

Dad: Walk away

---------------------------------------------------

We sometimes focus on something we don't like.   It seems to be better to let it go and find the things we enjoy.    It might not be easy but it seems to be the right thing to do.


---------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------

Louise Hay says the following:

We can do this by changing our thinking.

Here are 10 stress-free affirmations you can also use:

I realize that stress is only fear.
I release all fear.
I am at peace.
I am safe and secure.
Freedom from stress is my divine right.
I let go of all tension.
I use my breath to relax.
I breathe deeply and peacefully.
I feel my muscles relax.
I flow with life easily and effortlessly.
All is well in my world.

-----------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------
Joel Osteen says the following:

The Scripture says that "God will give you beauty for ashes." Here's the key; you have to let go of the ashes before you can receive the beauty.

-----------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------

breath in and breath out
release the tension and let it go
breath in and breath out
you are the master of your own soul

- David

Winning

mom:  time to go to sleep

daughter: silent

mom: (voice: a bit louder) time to go to sleep

(daughter starts to run.  she hides behind the dad)

mom to dad: why aren't you helping out

(dad look at the child.. )

dad: ummm

mom: (scream) do something
(mom throw a pillow at dad)

dad: (reluctanly) dear daughter, it's time to sleep

daughter: wow (crying)

(the child follow mom's example and throw a pillow at dad)

dad: (annoying) between you too, i never get to win..
     if i help either of you, i got hit..

(mom and daughter smiles at each other)

dad: (sigh)

Soda

(phone ring)

Dad:  Hello, who's calling

(a lady voice from the other side)
Mom:  She's crying.  She doesn't want to get off the car

Dad: (sign)
         Let me talk to her

Mom: (anxious)
         Just come back

Dad:  Give her the phone
         What's wrong? Anything happening.

(The kid keeps crying.. You can hear the crying get louder and louder.)

Dad:  (to mom) Where did you guys go?
 
Mom: We went to safe way.  I asked her if there's anything she wants but she says no
           So, i come back

           Wait.. Could she want any drink?

(silence)

Dad:   Let me talk to her.
           Do you want Strawberry smoothies...
(You can hear the crying got louder)

Mom: I think I remember... we passed 7 eleven and it has the icy drink...
         
Dad:  (to the kid) Is that what you want?

(silence)

Mom:  but, but she's drinking too much unhealthy drink

(Woww... the kid starts to cry.. the )

Dad:  (to mom)
         When was the last time she had soda?

Mom: She had root beer float yesterday.

Dad: What.... (screaming)
         (to the kid)
         I'll buy you the icy drink... but the next one will be one month later
(The kid's crying can be heard the whole block)

Mom: (to Dad)
         I think you should come home now...

homework

Dad: When are you gonna do your homework.

(silence)

Dad: Let's do it together

(silence)

Dad: Common, let's finish it so you can play video games.

(The kid jumps onto the Dad's lap with a smile)

   
Kid: Let's read the book ...

(After fifteen minutes, it's done.)


Dad: See, my dear.  It's quick..

(The kid is already in front of the computer.. )

tinkerbell

This is a story about 小精靈.
The thing about 小精靈 is she is a happy camper.
We love her very much.

early in the morning

It was early in the monning on Tuesday.
She was relunctanly got up. 
Both Daddy and Mommy are there.

Dad: Times to get up, my dear
Mom: We need to hurry

Dad: Look, mom just bought a new dinasaur for me.  His name is Dinasaur King.
 
(she looks at the dinasaur.. )

Dad: My dear, you already got 2.  the red fox and penguine.
Mom: The red fox is mine.  I got to have one, too.

(She looks down.  tear in her eyes)

Dad to Mom:  I think she's going to cry.
(Mom looks at her)
(Mom a bit reluctant.)

Mom to her:  Alright, I am going to let you have red fox. but I am going to buy another one.
             You are not going to take that, too... (half joking)

(She didn't say anything)

Always here

My dear,

I am always here for you.

Love

Dad

Beautiful Child

My dear,

You are wonderful.
You are magnificent.
You are worthwhile.

Always love you

Dad

------------------
Sometimes we pay a lot of attention on the condition.  My child needs to do this.  My child needs to do that yet the truth is that he/she doesn't need to do anything because he/she is worthwhile just being there.

Thankful heart

My dear one,

I love you
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you Thank you

I will do my best to listen to your voice.
Have patience with me. 
I will do my best to list.

i am grateful my dear
Your opionions are valued
I am grateful my dear

Love

Dad

------------------------------------------

Sometimes, we didn't pay enough attention because he's a child.
Yet, we all want our parents to listen to us.

Just a thought

------------------------------------------

I remember a song, the lyric is the following:

with a thankful heart, we will give you praise
you've been so good covered us with grace

Thank you thank you

You're amazing

My dear,

You're perfect exactly as you are.
You are magnificent.
You are wonderful.
You are amazing.

Thank you for being my child.

Love

Dad

You're perfect my dear
You are surrounded by love
I love you my child

----------------

Sometimes we see that others (e.g. children) need to change. 
Yet a lot of times, it's just different logic and different understanding.

Just a thought

David

I am willing

each of us come here to learn
each of us come here to teach

i love you my dear
I am willing to listen
each moment, each day

I breath in my dear
I am willing to listen
I breath out my dear

I have the courage
I have the patience oh my dear
I am willing to try

have patience with me
we'll work on it together
because we're family

I love you, my son
I will try and try until
we hug and have tear

I love you my son
I really really love you
I am willing to try

Love

Dad

------

I think it's important to know that you have the patience and am willing to do whatever it takes to listen to the family.

Move forward my friend

Love is there

Dad: get up.  It's time for school
Child: Don't bother me.  I am not ready.

Dad: (after hearing the tone: got angry) IF you don't get up, forget it, don't go to school (slamming the door)

Back ground: (We can hear a little noise on the back ground.  Some one went into the rest room.  It's the child. )

Child: (appear in the liveing room)
       says to Dad: I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me.  Thank you

Dad:   (although still humming)
       says to child: I love you. I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  Thank you.

-------

It's true that both child and parents need to change.
Yet, it's essential for the person who has authorization know when to back down.
In the long run (or even short run), we want win win situation.
I believe LOVE is essential for a family.

(Just my humble two cents.) :)

Miracle happens

My dear son,

I am sorry for yelling at you.

I'm willing to change
Change for my son, for myself
I'm willing to change

Love

Dad


I love you
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you Thank you

-----------

Sometimes we touch our nerve at a moment in time.
Yet, when we tell ourselve that we are willing to change
Miracle happens.

Be true to our self

My dear,

We'll need to know how wonderful we are so we don't lose our self because of different expectation.

Love

Daddy
------

My dear one, David
I am willing to see all
your magnificence.

Be true to yourself

My dear,

I read Louise Hay's recommendation.

It seems that I need to have a journal and write down how you felt about them and whether you felt you dealt with it in way that aligned with your inner voice. (If you felt upset toward someone, did you confront them or hide it?)  The more you write down and notice when you’re doing what’s best for you, the more you get close to expressing your true being more often.

Thanks

Dad



If you don't trust other people,
it is because you are not there for yourself.
You don't support yourself.
You don't back yourself up.

When yuo really begin to be there for you,
then you will trust yourself
and when you trust yourself
you will trust others.

- Heart thoughts (Louise Hay) -


I love you
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you


https://www.louisehay.com/3-habits-building-self-esteem/

3 Powerful Habits For Building Your Self-Esteem


If you would like to build your self-esteem, remember to love yourself daily.

Many people don’t practice building self-esteem daily because they don’t realize that it’s something that they can learn to do, no matter what experiences they have had in life.

The key to starting the process is to recognize that self-esteem, self-love, self-worth—whatever you feel drawn to calling it—is a seed that grows if you water it.

How do you begin to grow your self-esteem? You start by recognizing that you deserve to be loved. You deserve to love yourself.

Sounds like such a simple thing to do, right?

The truth is: one of the things we struggle with the most in life is being true to ourselves. When we have been hurt in the past, we sometimes hide parts of ourselves so we can protect ourselves from being hurt again.

One of the reasons I talk about loving yourself is that when we practice loving ourselves, we develop a certain trust that brings us closer to being true to ourselves.

For some of us, this is easier said than done. If you’re finding that you’re saying or doing things just to appease others, then you’re denying your soul’s purpose.

You’re denying yourself happiness.

I encourage you to practice loving yourself often, because it’s the best way to get closer to who you are.





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Begin to Trust Yourself
Many times we find that we’re unsure of ourselves. We constantly second-guess our decisions, or we make them based on others around us. Why are we so willing to trust others, but not ourselves?

You are a unique, beautiful soul.

It can be difficult to not suppress your true self in a world that is so quick to judge or compare you to others. We learn from our culture or parents, and we start to judge ourselves constantly, because that’s what we’re taught.

That is no way to live a happy and loving life. You’ll constantly be chasing something that is untrue to your Divine being.




----


The Benefits of Being True to Yourself
There is no wrong way or right way to build self-esteem. Your inner child or inner compass is there to guide you. Trust it. Love yourself and always be true to the best version of yourself.

Being true to your self is a constant decision that we make daily.

And don’t think that just because you made a mistake you’re a failure.

Life is a learning experience. Sometimes we make decisions true to us, and sometimes we don’t. It’s OK because we learn.

We are not defined by the mistakes we make. Allow yourself to let go of your negative self-talk, and love yourself.

When you do this, you will noticed many powerful shifts inside of you, such as:


1. Compassion
When we love ourselves in each situation, we learn to be the best version of ourselves. We become more compassionate towards ourselves, and we stop judging ourselves based on past decisions or actions. We learn from our mistakes, and move on to the next moment. When we are compassionate with ourselves and others, it’s easier to adapt to changes in our life and to bounce back from hardship faster.

2. Bravery
Being your true self  moment after moment makes you courageous and strong. When challenges or anxieties mount, you might feel the pressure, but you face them with grace, because you learn that you can count on yourself—your true self—to do your best, whether you fail or succeed!

3. Comfort
When we express our true self we become comfortable in our skin and a weight is lifted off our shoulders. Self-berating diminishes, and with time, we’re less worried about the future. We are comfortable in the present, and we no longer carry the past around with us.

We pay attention to the present, and it brings us comfort to be here—no matter where we are.

4. Positivity
You’ll notice that when you practice trusting your inner voice that your relationships with others will change. You’ll start surrounding yourself with people who help you or encourage you to be yourself. You will not spend so much time around people who drain your energy, and you’ll gravitate towards others who inspire the best in you.

5. We Get Our Needs Met
We in turn live a happy, fulfilling life. We get our needs met because we trust what we’re doing each day in each moment. We know that we deserve to be happy, and we have hope, and the belief in the value of pursuing our dreams.





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3 Habits for Building Self-Esteem
There are many ways to help you build self-esteem along your journey to being your true self. Here are 3 of my favorite daily tools for loving yourself:

1. Keep a journal.
Write down your experiences, how you felt about them and whether you felt you dealt with it in way that aligned with your inner voice. If you felt upset toward someone, did you confront them or hide it? The more you write down and notice when you’re doing what’s best for you, the more you get close to expressing your true being more often.

2. Practice Meditation.
There is no better way than to relax, breathe and rest your thoughts. This is a great time to practice affirmations and reflect on what you want for your life.

Below I share a meditation for increasing your self-love and self-worth. Self-esteem can become a habit when you practice loving yourself every day.

3. Practice Mirror Work or Tapping.
Looking into your eyes and expressing your true feelings is a great way to discover your underlying fears and finally face them with compassion.

Many people think that affirmations are my most powerful tool, and yes, affirmations are powerful, but the truth is, that affirmations are most powerful when combined with tapping or mirror work. My friend Robert Holden, Ph.D. helped me create a free video series about how to do mirror work. You can watch the free series here.


----


A Meditation for Building Self Esteem
No person, place, or thing has any power over me unless I give it, for I am the only thinker in my mind.

I have immense freedom in that I can choose what to think.

I can choose to see life in positive ways instead of complaining or being mad at myself or other people.

Complaining about what I do not have is one way to handle a situation, but it does not change anything.

When I love myself and find myself in the midst of a negative situation, I can say something such as, “I am willing to release the pattern in my consciousness that contributed to this condition.”

I have made negative choices in the past, but this does not mean that I am a bad person, nor am I stuck with these negative choices.

I release old judgments and love myself unconditionally.

Please forgive me

My dear son,

I want to apologize for pushing you hard to get All A.  When I was a child, my parents asked me to get all A.  I guess in my subconscious, I also want the same thing for you.  (yet, at the back of my mind, I sometimes have questions about it.) 

I also want you to know that I am sorry to ask you to get the result right away.  Next time if I push too hard on you, I'll tell myself that "All is well. Everything is working out for the highest good.  Out of this situation, only good will come.  I am safe.".  Sometimes, I just got nervous (or worry) so I push hard on you....

Please forgive your Dad for things that sometimes seem unreasonable.  I was raised in a family that probably push a bit hard.  Sorry about it.  I am willing to change.

Love

Dad


(p.s.

I know that there's some other unresolved issues in my past and I am willing to change.
A lot of times I expect perfection from myself and sorry, I probably expect perfection from you.

Please forgive your dear Dad and teachers for pushing too hard.

I am willing to
forgive myself, parents, school
and everyone.

)

Water is good for you

My dear,

Water is good for you. :)

I love my body
Water's my favorite drink
Each cell in me's loved

Love

David